The New Year was more inspirational. I watched fireworks on the telly then in the garden. All around there were fireworks it was strange. The air was full of smoke and fog and gunpowder, cold and fresh to herald the new year and new possibilities. I decided to take some control and go do activities. It sucks being alone all the time but if I wait for someone to take me anywhere i'm just going to die having never done anything. Feeling sorry for myself but in a positive way. So when my holiday came round instead of doing all the chores I trawled the internet for things to do. The first thing I found was 'A Christmas Carol' with Jim Broadbent, (who is a super mega star hero person). It was the last performance that day so I jumped on a train and headed to the big city. I spent most of the day worrying that I was underdressed for the theatre, but it turns out people wear anything! ( a lot of them are also Dicks.) Jim Broadbent was an absolute legend. after a pretty amazing show with flying puppets and singing and fun, I got to meet him at the stage door. I didn't even realise this was something people did, stalking stars after shows but there were loads of people waiting, I'm glad I did because I got to tell the man to his face how awesome I think he is!!!! Happy days :)
I'm pretty surprised that it's been 6 months since I last blogged. Christmas and the run up was pretty hectic but still that's half a year without a blog. Work took over for a little while and I was pretty miserable. Christmas was a stark reminder of all the things I do not have in my life. Not as most would say a time to reflect and be grateful for what I do have. I have a home. It's a single room in a house I share with my ex-boyfriend. Not so jolly. I have an elderly parent who I visit regularly and feel guilty about, and worry almost every second of the day. My closest friends have moved on with their lives and have bigger issues than me, I love them dearly but regularly wish it was the good old days when it was just us, no babies or mortgages or grown up shit. I am turning into a lost girl from Peter Pan, not only do I not want to grow up but I want to play forever.....
The New Year was more inspirational. I watched fireworks on the telly then in the garden. All around there were fireworks it was strange. The air was full of smoke and fog and gunpowder, cold and fresh to herald the new year and new possibilities. I decided to take some control and go do activities. It sucks being alone all the time but if I wait for someone to take me anywhere i'm just going to die having never done anything. Feeling sorry for myself but in a positive way. So when my holiday came round instead of doing all the chores I trawled the internet for things to do. The first thing I found was 'A Christmas Carol' with Jim Broadbent, (who is a super mega star hero person). It was the last performance that day so I jumped on a train and headed to the big city. I spent most of the day worrying that I was underdressed for the theatre, but it turns out people wear anything! ( a lot of them are also Dicks.) Jim Broadbent was an absolute legend. after a pretty amazing show with flying puppets and singing and fun, I got to meet him at the stage door. I didn't even realise this was something people did, stalking stars after shows but there were loads of people waiting, I'm glad I did because I got to tell the man to his face how awesome I think he is!!!! Happy days :)
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So it is almost my birthday again, a whole year since I started this blog. I would say quite a lot has happened and most of it I have remembered to put here. I had my birthday surprise outing yesterday to Potter World which was awesome. The Lady Explorers picked me up from my house, we had Nandos for lunch, then off on a surprise journey across the counties to the Warner Brother studios. Being my birthday I got a badge at the gate and passports meant for the kids ( They are really cool, you go round and get little embossed stamps in them.... I would love the embossing machine from the platform 9 3/4 ).
I think the train platform was my favourite bit, although the broomstick green-screen experience was fun even though I was nervous and nearly fell off it! All the staff wished me happy birthday which was a little bizarre but a nice touch and you get to open the Hogwarts big gold doors if it's your birthday! It's here, my beautiful ukulele has arrived and I love it. Though my fingers are sore and my arms are stiff, I have just about mastered happy birthday. Chords are the next step but currently I have no clue what I am doing. G is making me crush my fingers into mangled twisted shapes. The neighbours must be sick of me already. You tube is amazingly helpful.
Having pondered for about a week I ordered my shiny yellow Ukulele this morning. I am ridiculously excited over my mad purchase. I am fully aware that I am tone deaf and have never even touched a guitar let alone a Uke. I don't even really know what inspired me to want one. Yet I am so excited. I cannot stop thinking about it. Perhaps I have finally reached my own mid life crisis.
It all started a couple of weeks ago when I went to see the new Man From U.N.C.L.E film at the cinema. I think it reminded me of my youth. Of my dreams and ambitions. I keep wanting to learn Russian which is something I wanted to do many years ago ..... Illya Kuryakin changed my life when I was young and it seams that he still has that power 25 years later. Now I am almost the proud owner of a weird instrument and a hope to be something more than I am. I cannot believe I've gone 3 months and not remembered to blog. Life has been pretty horrible lately. I moved house. It took forever. I packed and unpacked for those three months. I cleaned old homes, new homes and things at work. I was tired beyond anything I've experienced before. Finally last week the keys to the old place were returned and I walked away from one nightmare to the next. I keep wondering when the next move will be. Renting makes everything uncertain and I am fully aware that this place won't last forever. I never feel rested. Never feel at home. The only plus side is I have television again. Two years without and I thought I'd miss it, I did sort of, but I am aware that I have no tolerance for adverts now. I also want to watch the whole of something not wait weekly. I can do without television more than I thought. In this house where everything has a gadget, I even find myself away from the internet, shunning the technology that captures souls. I left my phone behind and didn't notice. How things change.
My beloved film review has taken a back seat due to the cinema not showing anything I want to see. The films are going to be out on the television soon enough and I can wait. I did discover The Miss Fisher Murder Mysteries which I have watched all of this week. It's a glamorous lady Poirot who solves crime whilst looking amazing. Decadent and thoughtful. I read some books, "Beach café" and "One night in Italy", both by the same person that wrote "A Year of last chances", both a lot better. "Beach Café" was more enjoyable. I won't buy new books again for a while. Not that I need any books I have loads I haven't read yet. I am in the process of throwing away all my things. Living in a room means less stuff. I am getting used to the idea but it is still hard to throw away my treasures. So much has gone already, so much still needs to go. Be brave, be bold and stop pretending you're a 1920's detective...... Well this month whizzed past at dramatic speed and pretty much was careering off without me for a while. So many things have changed and are about too. I am again moving house. Another room in another house. Oh do I hate moving. I have so much stuff, even though I proudly purged and removed several boxes it hasn't really made much dent in the ever expanding pile of stuff. If only I was rich this would never be an issue again......until I filled my mansion to bursting I suppose. I dream of becoming a minimalist but I tried for a little while and just bought all the stuff back. Natural hoarder is not a life skill I want. I like things.
In other news I read another book ( A Year of last chances ) bloody dull and I struggled to the end. I watched Age of Ultron and San Andreas both were o.k. Cinderella was a poor imitation of Ever After. I've been to several at home bbq's and a castle birthday. There was a VE day party in town where the Stylettes sang. I have really appreciated having a time out and I currently feel amazing. The universe is sparkling with me ...... Not long after writing the last post I actually read a book! a whole one in the space of a few days which is almost unheard of. The book is called "Wild" and it's the story of Cheryll Strayed who had a rough life and decided to walk the length of the Pacific Crest Trail to find herself. 2663 miles of mountain wilderness. They made it into a film and I wanted to see it so badly but I missed it ( Cineworld didn't show it in my town and I emailed them a long rant which got no response ) So I bought the book and read it immediately. It's very good and feels real. It has made me think a lot about what I want to do. I want to travel and that will have to be alone so I need to plan for safe trips. Cheryll nearly died because of poor planning and was incredibly lucky to get back. Her hiccups have taught me that I am woefully unprepared for an adventure. I've never left the safety of my hometown without someone else looking after me. Now I don't plan to wander in the wilderness.... I'd get lost....but I should probably experiment with closer places before I embark across the world. Though I desperately want to see a volcano.
March feels like a failure as I don't feel like I've achieved a lot. I haven't even read a book in the last 2 months. I did buy some new ones but they've joined the others on the pile gathering dust.
The auditors came to work and I have had to date check the entire universe. This has left me emotionally exhausted and drained, so I have been hiding in my room mostly sleeping to recover lost parts of my soul. Forced interaction always leaves me broken. On the plus side I have looked at a lot of Pinterest and learned how to make little boats from £10 notes. I am having an origami phase. I have been experimenting with folding envelopes and boxes ready for my next wave of happy mail after Easter. I have written a lot of letters. I have thought about starting my own stationery business online. I have no clue how to do this! I do love stationery. I read a blog today of a lady in America who took the brave leap into online sales, she is an inspiration. I would like to be too but I need to work on my self image a lot first. Confidence breeds confidence and happiness is contagious. Spread that sparkle :) I love cake. This is not a surprise to those who know me ( I practically live on it.) This week I have discovered new and exciting cupcakes all over the place and it would be rude not to mention them in my blog. This is the strawberry and cream cupcake and the chocolate fudge brownie cupcake. Both are delicious but the chocolate fudge would win between these two, the strawberry one being a little too sweet and sort of powdery in its flavour. Then there are the Red Velvet cupcake and the Victoria sponge cupcake. Both are very nice but the hands down winner for me is the Victoria sponge......though I have to point out that this is my favourite cake of all already, so it had the advantage before tasting. This Victoria sponge is filled and topped with strawberry jam. Delicious.
I watched a film last night about a class of philosophy students posed the problem of a nuclear event. They had a bunker for 10 people and they had to choose who should live dependant on their occupation. Cards were handed out and they had several options where they chose different people to stay in the bunker. Their choices different every time as new information was known. The film was messed up but as ever it got me thinking. What skills do I have for the end of the world. With my never-ending chest infections and lack of skills I would never be a candidate for the bunker. Not in any world changing event would I survive. This sounds a bit depressing on the whole but at the same time it has released me from the worry of not knowing. I won't survive it so I shouldn't worry about it. I feel a lot better about our impending doom....
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AuthorOnce upon a time there was a girl who believed in magic and fairytales..... Archives
September 2015
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